"There Would BE Solar Energy!"

I'd like to point out just how nasty and crude Lewis Black can be and at the same time, I'd like to point out how disturbingly true most of all his material is. He does a bit on gay banditos. Yes. Gay men who ride around in a van like Jehovah witnesses and attack straight men with only one outcome- "gaydom." Granted, this isn't funny to many people and many people in my class will probably want to physically hurt me after reading this, but I think his point was amazing. President Bush thought that it was that gays who were making all of the trouble in America and if they would stop the American family from being torn down, there would be no more problems. "If we could stop the gays from getting married, everything else would turn out just fine. Everything would change! There would BE solar energy!" There comes a time when we need to be truthful with ourselves and realize that our country could have gone in a different direction and yet, our president chooses to keep looking for answers in all of the wrong places. Laugh about it. That's what Lewis Black does!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ANrvQC4wIk

Racism Done Right.

LISTEN! I'm not saying racism is good and I'm not saying anything about black or whites or mixed ethnicities being the devil. I'm saying that Lisa Lampinelli does a great job (unlike Ned Mencia) at making racist jokes actually work. Many comedians dabble in racist jokes and find that the don't have the correct element in their act that make them funny. Lisa Lampinelli was born with that element. "My idea is, this is a comedy club. If you can't take a joke...leave." She says it in her improv! Lisa Lampinelli opens her mouth and offends people- people who don't know how to take a joke. The best part about her is that she says the truth and she's funny about. "Screw you, Hector. Like you've ever seen the inside of an escuela. Well, that time you were sweepin' it. I'm joking. He doesn't work. Come on, vampires do more during the day than a freekin' Hispanic. Once you go 'Rican, a job you'll be seekin'. He's so cute, man. I'm glad you're here man. What's your name, Pedro? Nick? Nick the spik. I like that- rhymes. I like guys that can take a joke." She takes the truth and makes it funny by making friends with the crowd, feeling them out and then bashing them like crazy. However, she always goes back and thanks the people for taking a joke as well as they did. In the beginning of the act that this bit came from, she speaks of soccer moms from Connecticut who were at the last comedy club that she performed at. All she has to say is what terrible people they were because they were only concerned with themselves. Hence, "if you can't take a joke...leave!" As for now, that's all that I have to say...but trust me- I'll be back to elaborate.

WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnTQqE4ggys&feature=related

The Man Show.

I'm sure, whether or not you watched it, everyone's at least heard of The Man Show. No, this has nothing to do with Christianity and even less to do with women's rights. Well, it shows that women have the right to make themselves look like complete pieces of meat, but that's their own choice. The thing about this show that I appreciate is that it finally shows all viewers how men really do behave with their friends. Let me set the record straight: it's not all men. Many men do, actually, have proper moral judgment which lets them realize that treating women as bouncy toys and sex objects is not the most respectable thing to do. However, in the case of The Man Show, Adam and Jimmy do a great job of making it entertaining. No, the representation of women is not a good one, nor is it funny in most cases. Coming from a women's perspective, however, the view that I get to see on men making themselves look like complete baboons makes me smile a little bit because the truth of many men is finally televised. I know, we women get to hear the whistles every day on the streets and we know what it's like to be stared at, but in my view, it's funny to actually witness men literally sporting off their impurities. Hey, if the men are making a goal of being jerks, at least we can watch them score and make fun of them while doing it. Bouncing women aside.

Monkeys Are Running America.

I came across this picture and felt almost awkward for looking at it, and at the same time, I felt a sense of peace. It was weird because a big part of me wanted to not write about it because it has little to nothing to do with gender and in a very sick way, it can be depicted as race, but the main message that I was getting was this: our news, media and so-forth are run by monkeys. Not only are they monkeys, but the news is ran by monkeys who have no responsibility towards the world because they "see, hear and speak no evil." Like I said, I feel almost violated because I saw this and at the same time, a huge layer of truth is revealed.

Made of...Really? REALLY?

One day, one of my best friend's Rob and I were walking in the King of Prussia mall when he looked at an advertisement and made a face that couldn't only be interpreted into these words, "Oh...hehhh...I...noooo!" That face was in response to seeing the advertisement for the new movie, "Made of Honor." I have to admit, I was a little slow in the process because all I saw was another movie being advertised and not the pathetic attempt of a pun. Actually, I guess it was a pretty good attempt because it went directly over my head. I haven't seen the movie and I have to be honest, I really don't know if I want to when/if it comes out (maybe the film will be melted by a fire in Hollywood after someone realizes how terrible of a name it is) but I can say that after actually getting the pun, I had a very similar reaction as Rob did.

Made of Honor? Really?! As far as I'm concerned, the movie is about a man who wants to sleep with as many women as possible and chooses the ones that he comes across in this movie as his bait. I can only imagine what sly tactics he uses and whatever he does, I'm sure that the girls will fall for him. He's McDreamy! Oh, please hit me for saying that. Anyway. Made? Made of Honor? Yes. He's being portrayed in this advertisement as the strapping man that he truly is made of. Please. How cheesy can you get? If I'm not mistaken, I can only imagine how much of a jerk he turns out to be at the end of the movie- because let's face it, the writers of these movies love to throw in cute little twists and turns and when a given title is THIS cheesy, the movie HAS to be a doozie! After all, "it takes a REAL man to become a maid of honor." Yuck.

Ned Arnel Mencia. I kid you not.

I think one fad about blogs is being able to tear someone down and not have to say it to their face. Well, in this case, it may actually be useful because I don't plan on running into Carlos Mencia anytime soon, and frankly, I really don't want to either. Let me start off my little rant by stating what his name ACTUALLY is. Ned. Yes, Carlos Mencia...is really NED. Not Fred. Ned. Ready for his middle name? Arnel. Ned Arnel Mencia. HOW MUCH MORE PROPER OF A WHITE-SUBURBAN, Member's Only NAME CAN YOU HAVE?! That being said, I can carry on. Don't think about that for too long...it hurts my head too.

Ned happens to think that he's hysterical and can "say everything that everyone's thinking." The bad part about this is...it's NOT what everyone is thinking and therefore, it SHOULDN'T be said. Representation of race in the media is slaughtered from this guy. His stage name is more racially offensive than most of his terrible jokes. Granted, as a woman who wants to be a stand-up comedian, I give him a round of applause for having the nerve to stand up, but to say these things while doing so is completely crazy. This man goes off on why Asians are as smart as they are. OK, good start. Then he goes into telling jokes about the way Asians drive. OK...funny. The TOPICS are not the problem when it comes to comedy. The topics are what make the funny, funny because they're true. Everyone thinks about these things and they're more or less taboo to speak of because they're offensive when used in the wrong context. Here's the deal: If you're going to start talking bad about other races and you want to make people laugh...BE FUNNY WHILE DOING IT! That's Ned's problem. He tries so hard to get the taboo topics out on the table and when they're finally there, he goes all Gallagher on them and slaughters the jokes to no end. Seriously. Dead.

"Carlos," I know you're a "comedian." However when you write your jokes, or read them off of a cue card...think about them first and if you can't make them funny (and no, I'm not judging "funny" by the mixed-race chick in the front row who can't stop laughing at ALL of your shows) DON'T SAY THEM! Use your common sense. You have a smart-sounding name, Ned.

By the way, the "dee, dee, dee..." do you really think that doesn't get old?

Mommy Angelina.

Everyone's always talking about what celebrities are doing wrong. I know. However, one thing that I think is great, even if it's a publicity stunt, is Angelina Jolie's motherly care. No, I'm not being sarcastic. I know she doesn't come off as the best mother ever and I don't plan on defending her big lips or her lovely acting skills; I'm simply voicing (typing) my opinion about the fact that she adopts children. Whether or not she broke up the Hollywood marriage between Brad and Aniston, I don't think I need to know that. In fact, that's their personal business. I feel terrible for Jennifer, but honestly, she seems to be getting through it just fine. The point that I'm trying to make is, Angelina seems to be taking care of these kids rather well. If not reality, it seems as though she has a true heart for taking care of children and loving the ever-lovingness out of them. She went from being "home-wrecker" to "motherly-love" in a matter two years, no? She represents what many barren women in America would love to do. I don't know if she's going to have her own children (come to think of it, I think the white child is their blood) and I don't know if she, herself, is barren. I do know that women all over the world, not only America would love to be in her shoes. She takes care of these kids as if they were...well...her own! She's a true mother and hey, has she done any movies lately? Just think...her time is spent as a mother these days. Spoiling her kids to no end. I don't think that's such a bad thing.

I Vote For a Large Bean.

If not live, we at at least reside for the time being in Pennsylvania. Therefore, we all know what Wawa is. Whether or not you actually like going to Wawa is a different story. However, if you've gone in one of these fine establishments within the last few months, I'm sure you've noticed the little Mexican display (advertisement) over the coffee area. Wawa is representing Mexico via coffee because of the Columbian coffee that they're serving. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. However, every time I see this display with a colorful shall over the Wawa sign, my soul cries a little bit. I know that Wawa wants to cater to everyone they serve, but can we do it a little less offensively, please? Colombians aren't known for much in America other than producing cocaine, so now, we have to attribute Wawa's celebration of the coffee to this fine land of Columbia because we want to be "politically correct." Personally, I think that placing a large coffee bean over the sign and calling it a day would be just fine.

SUPER.

OK. I know that this movie isn't brand-spankin'-new, however, I was recently watching it and I realized how perfect it was for this class. If not for race, which it does a terrible representation of for those who aren't American, it represents the main characters near perfectly. The three teenage guys (Seth, McLovin, and Evan) are in their Senior year of high school and each of them have a crush on different girls. They get invited to a party at one of the girl's house and the meat of the story comes from the journey that they each have in order to get to the party.

The representation of gender comes in during the very early stages of the movie...basically the first line. Although it's a raunchy film and girls usually don't like it, the guys talk about...guy things. Their man-parts, girl parts, sex, Seth's little artistic issue as a child, drinking, what's going to happen in college, what they THINK is going to happen in college and so-forth. The thing is, these "boys" transform into young gentlemen by the end of the movie. No, they don't become strapping young men with perfect grammar, but that's the point. The representation of teenage males in America is great. From being losers and being spit in the face in the very beginning of the movie, to winning over each girl that they like in the end, they truly become Super-Bad. My hats off to Seth Rogan who wrote this...I'm marrying you.

Gender AND Race. Wouldn't Ya know!?

Rihanna. Basically, if I wanted to, that's all that I would have to put on this blog and most Americans would know what I mean. However, for the sake of it being a blog and me having to explain what I mean, I will do just that. Rihanna is such a talented singer and she's black! Amazing how that happens. The best part about it is that she's talented. This woman has been in the spotlight of the media for going on over a year now and she's only gotten more and more sucessful. Of course, her sex-appeal has a lot to do with why many people are drawn to her, but that's the really cool thing about it. She takes her fame and she runs with it. From her hit song, "SOS" to "Take a Bow," she takes her girl power and basically does what I want to do for my ex-boyfriends...tell them how it really is. Sadly, most girls today, or ever, can't do that. Most girls, in fact, go back to their ex-boyfriends because they feel comfortable. Rihanna, however, writes a song about how pathetic her ex-boyfriend is and how much she's basically laughing in his face...and makes a hit of it! You go, Girl!

Mitch "Funny" Fatel.

You can't be funny and "retarded." I can say that Mitch Fatel beats the odds when it comes to funny and being a guy. Aside from his serious mental issues, this comedian is natually funny and I'm sure he's had to teach himself how to be masculine and keep his head held high throughout the start of his career. One of the huge problems with male comedians is that they get too caught up with being relaxed in front of large crowds and therefore, they have to put up a front in order to be "the big guy." The thing about Mitch is, he knows where he stands. He's not feminine and yet, he knows that he's not the coolest guy ever. Of course, he has a large bit on boobs and how he wishes he could be a woman if solely to be able to feel boobs any time that he wanted to...which is all of the time. Boob jokes aside, it's not every day that you find a male comedian who already has an offset to life such as being mentally challenged and can get up in front of people while being funny and not make it obvious that he's concerned about what everyone is thinking of him. Afterall, his first audio CD is entitled, "Super Retardo."

Masculine Women.

Barry Bonds doesn't use steroids, he just practiced a lot in the past year while he wasn't playing baseball! Of course he did. In reality, he, like many baseball players, and men in general, use steroids in order to become more masculine and be stronger. It's sad, really, because more and more men feel as though they have to become more "masculine" in this generation. Why? Well, to spell it out for you, women are successful and most men can't deal with that. Women being successful is basically a slap in the face to most men. Men used to be the bread winners of the family and now that women have the say concerning what careers they're choosing, many men are laying down and taking it like...well, women! A lot of people feel as though this is a coming of age idea and this will soon pass. A lot more, on the other hand, believe that women are going to become more and more powerful as the years go by. Men don't need steroids to prove their masculinity, they simply need to let the women be powerful and support them in their power. Who's to say that men and women can't be equally as powerful in the world? Oh. Right. Men.

Maybe Because We Didn't Have a President Named, "Bill Obama."

I wish. I wish I could take the credit for that joke. However, my friend made that after a controversial debate on whether or not politicians were isolating Hillary Clinton's name from the presidential election based on her gender. "Everyone calls her 'Hillary' while all of the other politicians are known by their last name." Well, there's a reason for that and no, it's not because she's a woman. Hillary Clinton, is not on my top list for future presidents; however, she is a human being and a very powerful one, at that. In fact, she's one of the most powerful women in the free world. I'd like her to be president based on the fact that she's a woman and she'd do a lot for the diversity in this country. Basically, all of my reasons would be based around that. Aside from that idea, there's basically no reason that I'd want to have Hillary (Clinton #2) as my future president.

Kurt. Elvira Kurt.

Elvira Kurt is a star. No, you probably don't know her, but that's OK. Prepare for your introduction. She's a stand-up comic and she's a lesbian. Yep. She's funny and she's gay. I know, how strange. This woman takes the craziness of real-life situations, especially her own, and she creates them into fun times for everyone to laugh at. Elvira is known for her openly gay talks with her mother and how she goes about telling her mom that she's not "into men." Basically, this blog is an ode to her. Granted, she is no Ellen DeGeneres concerning her fame, but she gives a name to women in the comedic world. She's emotionally strong, funny and she knows who she is. Here's to lesbian comics!

Jackie Jeter

So, in our most recent book about situational black comedy, the writer was almost giving excuses for why "black comedy" is OK in America and what the history of it tells us. In class going back a few weeks ago, (I'm good with keeping up with the times) we spoke about how black people are portrayed and if we, as members of today's society, believe that actor's and people in the media are portrayed more "black" by the black standards or "black" by the white standards. Now, I know that baseball isn't the epitome of the media freznie unless it's "in Season" or Derek Jeter dates Maria Carey. However, I am aware that baseball players, especially the attractive ones, are followed very carefully by the media. This brings me to my point. Being black has been almost re-defined since Jackie Robinson. Many things started to change around that time and for that, I can say that black comedy and black media have been changed, not entriely, but because it's been changed, the progress can at least be seen. Here's to you, Jackie! Thanks.

ATTENTION: WOMEN DRIVERS!

Not only are we drivers now (yes, we have the freedom to drive now!) but we have to look pretty while doing it most of the time because we're on our way to work, church and all of those other fun activities that we're involved in. Because the website kicked me off maybe 5 times after I got the pictures for these beautiful babies, I wasn't able to get the name of the inventor or anything concerning the invention of these shoes but here is what I gather of them. These are low-tops converted into high tops, and vice-versa, for your womanly convenience. Now, we can have the equivellant to taking our shirts off that guys do when they get too hot or just want to show off! Granted, girls, we shouldn't take our shirts off in public, but it's good to know that we have to freedom to.

So, here's the deal. These high heels have a sturdy heel that can be converted into a flat pair of shoes. Why? Because after years and years of women driving in high-heels, a genius (who will remain nameless until further investigation) invented these easy-riders (haha, get it?) for comfort, sensibility and yes, STYLE! Now we can enjoy transportation and not have to worry about switching shoes mid-traffic light just because we need to walk down the road and not get blisters!

Where He Started. Where He Left Off.

Kramer. Kramer, Kramer, Kramer. Really? Let's revisit a few months back in time, shall we? I think we all know who's not getting a job in the spotlight for a while, or at least not on stage at the Laugh Factory. He went from funny, lovable and crazy-uncle-type to a foul-mouthed monster in...OK, a decade, I suppose. He was just never a big deal outside of Seinfeld. Now, here's my disclaimer: I don't claim to know anything about him outside of Seinfeld, because honestly, I didn't think he was that funny of a character when he was Kramer. I happen to think he's a bit more of a human being after he snapped on stage of the Laugh Factory because he proved that famous people, (people with money and fame, kids) have just as many break-downs, if not more, than people who don't have the cameras in their face at all hours of the day. Publicity stunt or not, this turned plenty of people's heads from ever giving this guy the time of day again.

Racist? Yes. Completely. Saying THAT word...anywhere in front of a crowd is unacceptable. Not that I'd be OK with it being said in a crowd of smaller people, but the effect on America wouldn't be such a big wave of unhappiness and shock because well, no one would know about it. He was an icon. A person that people looked to when they needed a laugh. Now, Michael Richards is going to be known as, "Oh...THAT guy."

The Girls...NEXT!

I know, I know. A taboo topic at Eastern...girls, OK. Let's not lie, Hugh Heffner is no role model for modesty nor is he someone that Christians look up to (down, yes, maybe). On the upside of things, this show is actually kind of entertaining. That's the problem though. It's entertaining to watch because the girls are so stupid. Now, I know the girls aren't necessarily the most intelligent of the world, but I do know that at least one of them (if not all) is a college graduate and two of the 3 of them can hold a conversation with strangers (I've seen it happen on an episode, it was not a dream, boys).

At any rate, I am almost upset that this show was created. Entertainment purposes aside, it was obviously meant to portray these women as solely "dumb blondes" and let me say, my mom is a blonde and she is the smartest person I know. She, for other reasons, cannot stand this show, but one of the reasons is because it takes women, puts them in "Heff's" Playboy Mansion and let's them run around like little girls making "decisions" AKA what color to pain their nails that day and which place to travel to next. They have no responsibility other than to enjoy themselves. They're meant to look pretty, but these girls are worth much more than to be just a face in a porn magazie, let alone on a show. No role model status here, girls. You're going to have to actually work hard to gain respect from everyone else other than the men in this world.

Hannah "Not-So-Disney" Cyrus

Miley Cyrus, daughter of Billie Ray Cyrus, was the star of a recent photo shoot which caused quite a bit of controversy. I'll be the first one to say that I don't like the "split personality" thing going on between her singing career and her 'Hannah Montana' schpeal, however, it's more of the fact that she's a person which makes this entire "scandle" worth getting into.

We all know her from Hannah Montana, which is a show run on the Disney network. This is the precise reason as to why fans and their parents are so upset. Anne Leibowitz is a well-known photgrapher and from the sites that I've read, she is a respectable woman, at that. The photos of her were a bit less than Disney-esque and at the same time, they were very atristic. To be completely honest, I believe that this is just another bump in the road for Disney viewers (parents) to see what life is like at their children's age and how this world is coming. Maybe they'll decide not to leave the parenting up to Disney for once and actually guard their television!