"There Would BE Solar Energy!"

I'd like to point out just how nasty and crude Lewis Black can be and at the same time, I'd like to point out how disturbingly true most of all his material is. He does a bit on gay banditos. Yes. Gay men who ride around in a van like Jehovah witnesses and attack straight men with only one outcome- "gaydom." Granted, this isn't funny to many people and many people in my class will probably want to physically hurt me after reading this, but I think his point was amazing. President Bush thought that it was that gays who were making all of the trouble in America and if they would stop the American family from being torn down, there would be no more problems. "If we could stop the gays from getting married, everything else would turn out just fine. Everything would change! There would BE solar energy!" There comes a time when we need to be truthful with ourselves and realize that our country could have gone in a different direction and yet, our president chooses to keep looking for answers in all of the wrong places. Laugh about it. That's what Lewis Black does!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ANrvQC4wIk

Racism Done Right.

LISTEN! I'm not saying racism is good and I'm not saying anything about black or whites or mixed ethnicities being the devil. I'm saying that Lisa Lampinelli does a great job (unlike Ned Mencia) at making racist jokes actually work. Many comedians dabble in racist jokes and find that the don't have the correct element in their act that make them funny. Lisa Lampinelli was born with that element. "My idea is, this is a comedy club. If you can't take a joke...leave." She says it in her improv! Lisa Lampinelli opens her mouth and offends people- people who don't know how to take a joke. The best part about her is that she says the truth and she's funny about. "Screw you, Hector. Like you've ever seen the inside of an escuela. Well, that time you were sweepin' it. I'm joking. He doesn't work. Come on, vampires do more during the day than a freekin' Hispanic. Once you go 'Rican, a job you'll be seekin'. He's so cute, man. I'm glad you're here man. What's your name, Pedro? Nick? Nick the spik. I like that- rhymes. I like guys that can take a joke." She takes the truth and makes it funny by making friends with the crowd, feeling them out and then bashing them like crazy. However, she always goes back and thanks the people for taking a joke as well as they did. In the beginning of the act that this bit came from, she speaks of soccer moms from Connecticut who were at the last comedy club that she performed at. All she has to say is what terrible people they were because they were only concerned with themselves. Hence, "if you can't take a joke...leave!" As for now, that's all that I have to say...but trust me- I'll be back to elaborate.

WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnTQqE4ggys&feature=related

The Man Show.

I'm sure, whether or not you watched it, everyone's at least heard of The Man Show. No, this has nothing to do with Christianity and even less to do with women's rights. Well, it shows that women have the right to make themselves look like complete pieces of meat, but that's their own choice. The thing about this show that I appreciate is that it finally shows all viewers how men really do behave with their friends. Let me set the record straight: it's not all men. Many men do, actually, have proper moral judgment which lets them realize that treating women as bouncy toys and sex objects is not the most respectable thing to do. However, in the case of The Man Show, Adam and Jimmy do a great job of making it entertaining. No, the representation of women is not a good one, nor is it funny in most cases. Coming from a women's perspective, however, the view that I get to see on men making themselves look like complete baboons makes me smile a little bit because the truth of many men is finally televised. I know, we women get to hear the whistles every day on the streets and we know what it's like to be stared at, but in my view, it's funny to actually witness men literally sporting off their impurities. Hey, if the men are making a goal of being jerks, at least we can watch them score and make fun of them while doing it. Bouncing women aside.

Monkeys Are Running America.

I came across this picture and felt almost awkward for looking at it, and at the same time, I felt a sense of peace. It was weird because a big part of me wanted to not write about it because it has little to nothing to do with gender and in a very sick way, it can be depicted as race, but the main message that I was getting was this: our news, media and so-forth are run by monkeys. Not only are they monkeys, but the news is ran by monkeys who have no responsibility towards the world because they "see, hear and speak no evil." Like I said, I feel almost violated because I saw this and at the same time, a huge layer of truth is revealed.

Made of...Really? REALLY?

One day, one of my best friend's Rob and I were walking in the King of Prussia mall when he looked at an advertisement and made a face that couldn't only be interpreted into these words, "Oh...hehhh...I...noooo!" That face was in response to seeing the advertisement for the new movie, "Made of Honor." I have to admit, I was a little slow in the process because all I saw was another movie being advertised and not the pathetic attempt of a pun. Actually, I guess it was a pretty good attempt because it went directly over my head. I haven't seen the movie and I have to be honest, I really don't know if I want to when/if it comes out (maybe the film will be melted by a fire in Hollywood after someone realizes how terrible of a name it is) but I can say that after actually getting the pun, I had a very similar reaction as Rob did.

Made of Honor? Really?! As far as I'm concerned, the movie is about a man who wants to sleep with as many women as possible and chooses the ones that he comes across in this movie as his bait. I can only imagine what sly tactics he uses and whatever he does, I'm sure that the girls will fall for him. He's McDreamy! Oh, please hit me for saying that. Anyway. Made? Made of Honor? Yes. He's being portrayed in this advertisement as the strapping man that he truly is made of. Please. How cheesy can you get? If I'm not mistaken, I can only imagine how much of a jerk he turns out to be at the end of the movie- because let's face it, the writers of these movies love to throw in cute little twists and turns and when a given title is THIS cheesy, the movie HAS to be a doozie! After all, "it takes a REAL man to become a maid of honor." Yuck.

Ned Arnel Mencia. I kid you not.

I think one fad about blogs is being able to tear someone down and not have to say it to their face. Well, in this case, it may actually be useful because I don't plan on running into Carlos Mencia anytime soon, and frankly, I really don't want to either. Let me start off my little rant by stating what his name ACTUALLY is. Ned. Yes, Carlos Mencia...is really NED. Not Fred. Ned. Ready for his middle name? Arnel. Ned Arnel Mencia. HOW MUCH MORE PROPER OF A WHITE-SUBURBAN, Member's Only NAME CAN YOU HAVE?! That being said, I can carry on. Don't think about that for too long...it hurts my head too.

Ned happens to think that he's hysterical and can "say everything that everyone's thinking." The bad part about this is...it's NOT what everyone is thinking and therefore, it SHOULDN'T be said. Representation of race in the media is slaughtered from this guy. His stage name is more racially offensive than most of his terrible jokes. Granted, as a woman who wants to be a stand-up comedian, I give him a round of applause for having the nerve to stand up, but to say these things while doing so is completely crazy. This man goes off on why Asians are as smart as they are. OK, good start. Then he goes into telling jokes about the way Asians drive. OK...funny. The TOPICS are not the problem when it comes to comedy. The topics are what make the funny, funny because they're true. Everyone thinks about these things and they're more or less taboo to speak of because they're offensive when used in the wrong context. Here's the deal: If you're going to start talking bad about other races and you want to make people laugh...BE FUNNY WHILE DOING IT! That's Ned's problem. He tries so hard to get the taboo topics out on the table and when they're finally there, he goes all Gallagher on them and slaughters the jokes to no end. Seriously. Dead.

"Carlos," I know you're a "comedian." However when you write your jokes, or read them off of a cue card...think about them first and if you can't make them funny (and no, I'm not judging "funny" by the mixed-race chick in the front row who can't stop laughing at ALL of your shows) DON'T SAY THEM! Use your common sense. You have a smart-sounding name, Ned.

By the way, the "dee, dee, dee..." do you really think that doesn't get old?

Mommy Angelina.

Everyone's always talking about what celebrities are doing wrong. I know. However, one thing that I think is great, even if it's a publicity stunt, is Angelina Jolie's motherly care. No, I'm not being sarcastic. I know she doesn't come off as the best mother ever and I don't plan on defending her big lips or her lovely acting skills; I'm simply voicing (typing) my opinion about the fact that she adopts children. Whether or not she broke up the Hollywood marriage between Brad and Aniston, I don't think I need to know that. In fact, that's their personal business. I feel terrible for Jennifer, but honestly, she seems to be getting through it just fine. The point that I'm trying to make is, Angelina seems to be taking care of these kids rather well. If not reality, it seems as though she has a true heart for taking care of children and loving the ever-lovingness out of them. She went from being "home-wrecker" to "motherly-love" in a matter two years, no? She represents what many barren women in America would love to do. I don't know if she's going to have her own children (come to think of it, I think the white child is their blood) and I don't know if she, herself, is barren. I do know that women all over the world, not only America would love to be in her shoes. She takes care of these kids as if they were...well...her own! She's a true mother and hey, has she done any movies lately? Just think...her time is spent as a mother these days. Spoiling her kids to no end. I don't think that's such a bad thing.